Attention all stoners! Are you tired of living a boring, mundane life on land? Are you constantly running from the law for crimes that may or may not have even occurred? Well, have we got the solution for you! Introducing the one and only “Cryptomania”! This floating party ship never docks at port and instead anchors in the open sea, sailing away from any pesky scrutiny. On board, you’ll find a ragtag group of misfits, all united by their love of “coin” and their desire to avoid the law.
First up, we have Vapemaster Smith, also known as “Smithy”. He’s the master of all things vaping and even created foot-long vapes using illegal tech (though he’s not too keen on sharing how he acquired said tech). He’s on the run in the USA and is known for his love of sunglasses, even indoors.
Next, we have Tommy Tripster, affectionately known as “Tripey” (not because of his love of tripping, but because he looks like a bowl of cold tripe). He’s got red blotches and a green tinge (which he blames on the sea air), and his diet consists mainly of crisps and egg McMuffins. No one is quite sure how he ended up on the Cryptomania, but it’s suspected he may have stowed away.
Seaman Flinch, aka “Griff” or “Griffoker”, is the captain of the Cryptomania. This giant ex-pirate ship is his pride and joy, and he’s running from a woman (though he’d rather forget she exists). He’s from Amsterdam and is known for his red glasses and teary eyes.
Jinx Jamieson is one of two sets of twins on board (his twin is 1196). They stand out with their 10-gallon hats and are die-hard Americans who see crypto as a form of freedom. Unfortunately, they’re banned from US soil and are now international shippers, with no loyalty to any country except their desire to “supply”.
Rasta “Fairman” never takes off his jacket, even in the scorching heat. He’s a tech expert, blogger, radicalist, and dream toker, and ended up on the Cryptomania to avoid long-term imprisonment in multiple countries. He’s known for his belief in fairness for all and his love of pepperin’ his sentences with the word “fair”.
Last but not least, we have “Peaky” Grinders, so named for his extensive hat collection and his penchant for bedazzled grinders. He’s rumored to have used said grinders for money laundering, but he’s never been caught (yet). He’s on the run for reasons unknown and is known for his love of tweed and his impressive collection of pipes.
So come on down to the Cryptomania and join in on the fun! Ball games, cards, and dreaming of loose women (while eating copious snacks, of course) are just a few of the activities on offer. Plus, with an endless supply of ganja, you’ll never run out of the good stuff. Just watch out for those pesky conspiracy theories and paranoia that seem to run rampant on the high seas.
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